Guilford Woman July 2014 : Page 4

Flirtation! THE ART OF SUBTLE I have been told on many occasions that I fail to notice when men are trying to flirt with me. That may be true but it seems that there is sometimes a “disconnect” in when I am interested and when someone is interested in me. A very good male friend of mine told me that my problem is that I look like a soccer mom. I was wondering if that was a good or bad thing so I asked him to explain. A soc-cer mom, according to him, is one who is focused on her role as parent, chauffer, baker of cookies, advocate at the PTA and all other duties as assigned. She is confident, self-assured, and oblivious to anything outside of her focus (in this case – her kids). I haven’t been a soccer mom for many years (and yes, I was one) but I must have kept some of the attributes. Listening to some male friends of mine explain that I may have been in the all-focused business mode too long, they gently suggested that I try a social experiment. They believed that a few simple changes to my dress and atti-tude would make a phenomenal difference in the likeli-hood and the frequency of positive male attention. I tried out their suggestions during my last multi-leg flight because, in case you haven’t noticed, the majority of busi-ness travelers are still men. They would serve as my con-venience sample for this social experiment. Male business travelers usually dress like they are about to walk into a meeting as soon as they get off the plane: business suit, tie, nicely pressed shirt and shined shoes. I, on the other hand, often travel like I am about to go to a kid’s soccer game: jeans, golf shirt, running shoes or sandals. Putting their suggestions in place I left home in jeans but I put on a soft, pastel, flirty, v-necked blouse. I also wore re-ally cute, feminine flats. Secondly, I took the time to pause before getting my luggage from the overhead bin. I exhib-ited the possibility that I might need and want help. Sev-eral well dressed, handsome men offered or did help me move a very lightweight carry-on bag. (Note: I have fre-quently been struggling with heavy bags with no offers of help!!!!) This minimal change in dress and the willingness to look like I might accept help was amazingly effective! Now to try for a little bit more of a wardrobe change and a little more attitude change. Returning from my business meeting I decided against changing to jeans. I kept on the outfit I wore (white jacket, knee length flared skirt) and made a slight change from pumps to heeled sandals and bare legs. Oh, and relatively large hoop earrings. Can you guess the outcome? I was overwhelmed with of-fers of help and I even had a couple of offers to have a drink while waiting for the next flight. So the moral of this story is that a few changes can go a long way to getting positive male attention. The subtle art of flirtation is alive and well. Use it to your best advantage as you transition away from the uber-focused soccer mom/business woman and take the flirtation as far as you like. Good luck! Our next “Sex is Not for Sissies” Seminar will be in September 2014. Learn more by visiting www.sexisnotforsissies.com or contact Valda at valdao@sexisnotforsissies.com Valda Boyd Ford, MPH, MS, RN is an expert on women’s health and the Executive Director and Founder of the Center for Human Diversity, Inc. Ford holds a Master of Public Health Policy Analysis and Administration from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, a Master of Nursing Administration from Creighton Univer-sity, and a Bachelor of Science in Nursing from Winston-Salem State University. Valda Boyd Ford’s career includes nearly a decade of service in Saudi Arabia and the U.S. Virgin Islands. From Fortune 500 companies and small businesses to health or-ganizations and law enforcement agencies, Ford has made presentations on leadership, public health, and cul-tural competency in 25 states of the U.S, as well as in over 40 countries abroad including China, Afghanistan, the Netherlands, Wales, Poland, Ghana, Saudi Arabia, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Denmark, Sierra Leone, Sri Lanka, and Aus-tralia. 4 | GUILFORDWOMAN.COM

THE ART OF SUBTLE Flirtation!

Valda Boyd Ford

<br /> I have been told on many occasions that I fail to notice when men are trying to flirt with me. That may be true but it seems that there is sometimes a “disconnect” in when I am interested and when someone is interested in me.<br /> <br /> A very good male friend of mine told me that my problem is that I look like a soccer mom. I was wondering if that was a good or bad thing so I asked him to explain. A soccer mom, according to him, is one who is focused on her role as parent, chauffer, baker of cookies, advocate at the PTA and all other duties as assigned. She is confident, self-assured, and oblivious to anything outside of her focus (in this case – her kids). I haven’t been a soccer mom for many years (and yes, I was one) but I must have kept some of the attributes.<br /> <br /> Listening to some male friends of mine explain that I may have been in the all-focused business mode too long, they gently suggested that I try a social experiment. They believed that a few simple changes to my dress and attitude would make a phenomenal difference in the likelihood and the frequency of positive male attention.<br /> <br /> I tried out their suggestions during my last multi-leg flight because, in case you haven’t noticed, the majority of business travelers are still men. They would serve as my convenience sample for this social experiment. Male business travelers usually dress like they are about to walk into a meeting as soon as they get off the plane: business suit, tie, nicely pressed shirt and shined shoes. I, on the other hand, often travel like I am about to go to a kid’s soccer game: jeans, golf shirt, running shoes or sandals.<br /> <br /> Putting their suggestions in place I left home in jeans but I put on a soft, pastel, flirty, v-necked blouse. I also wore really cute, feminine flats. Secondly, I took the time to pause before getting my luggage from the overhead bin. I exhibited the possibility that I might need and want help. Several well dressed, handsome men offered or did help me move a very lightweight carry-on bag. (Note: I have frequently been struggling with heavy bags with no offers of help!!!!)<br /> <br /> This minimal change in dress and the willingness to look like I might accept help was amazingly effective!<br /> <br /> Now to try for a little bit more of a wardrobe change and a little more attitude change. Returning from my business meeting I decided against changing to jeans. I kept on the outfit I wore (white jacket, knee length flared skirt) and made a slight change from pumps to heeled sandals and bare legs. Oh, and relatively large hoop earrings.<br /> <br /> Can you guess the outcome? I was overwhelmed with offers of help and I even had a couple of offers to have a drink while waiting for the next flight. So the moral of this story is that a few changes can go a long way to getting positive male attention. The subtle art of flirtation is alive and well. Use it to your best advantage as you transition away from the uber-focused soccer mom/business woman and take the flirtation as far as you like. Good luck!<br /> <br /> Our next “Sex is Not for Sissies” Seminar will be in September 2014. Learn more by visiting www.sexisnotforsissies.com or contact Valda at valdao@sexisnotforsissies.com<br /> <br /> Valda Boyd Ford, MPH, MS, RN is an expert on women’s health and the Executive Director and Founder of the Center for Human Diversity, Inc. Ford holds a Master of Public Health Policy Analysis and Administration from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, a Master of Nursing Administration from Creighton University, and a Bachelor of Science in Nursing from Winston-Salem State University.<br /> <br /> Valda Boyd Ford’s career includes nearly a decade of service in Saudi Arabia and the U.S. Virgin Islands. From Fortune 500 companies and small businesses to health organizations and law enforcement agencies, Ford has made presentations on leadership, public health, and cultural competency in 25 states of the U.S, as well as in over 40 countries abroad including China, Afghanistan, the Netherlands, Wales, Poland, Ghana, Saudi Arabia, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Denmark, Sierra Leone, Sri Lanka, and Australia.

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