Guilford Woman June 2012 : Page 24

Happy Father’s Day Mr. Brent Article by Margie Crabtree | Photography by Wendy Riley This month Guilford Woman Magazine is breaking rules and allowing the photograph of a man on our cover. We found this story about Mr. Brent so inspiring and wanted to share it with you about a father’s love; and to what lengths a father will go to prove his love. This is a true story about Brent Ruffin-affectionately known as Mr. Brent, a local businessman who fathered a daughter out of wedlock, with a woman who wanted to destroy him for not creating a relationship with her. Very soon after the child’s birth, Brent began seeing signs that concerned him about the type of care the baby was receiving, he questioned how much time was being spent with his child, and the activities of the mother. During the next five years Mr. Brent’s life was dedicated to fighting both the courts and the social service system, for full or partial custody of his daughter, Aniya. His lawyer was so appalled at the actions of the mother, and the dangerous environment in which the child was living, that she ac-cepted his case with a vengeance, even against the odds. The odds show frightening statistics against the father in nearly every cus-tody case presented. The truth is, the system is almost always for the mother in these cases; naturally assuming it is the mother who has the maternal in-stincts, has carried the baby for nine months, formed an incomparable bond and would generally be the most qualified choice to raise the child full time. Why, even the title: mother, suggests caregiving and nurturing. Then, there’s stereotyping of a black father who wants to obtain full or joint custody of his child. According to Brent’s figures, only a staggering 33% of black fathers ask for any type of legal custody in court. Only 23% of those seek full custody and only 4% are awarded custody….4%! Mr. Brent eventually beat the odds in his case and is happily enjoying a spot in the 4% to whom full custody has been awarded, but not without years of proving himself, continually worrying about his child’s welfare, and many long and sleepless nights. Today, Aniya is seven years old and with her fa-ther, where he admittedly spoils and pampers her in a loving and close re-lationship, where the child is safe and flourishing. Aniya now sees her mother every-other weekend and for two weeks during the summer. The relationship is currently harmonious between the parents. Recently, the mother had another child and admits that the decision of the court was in the best interest of the child. Aniya is now exposed to travel, dance and a bevy of other exciting endeavors, and luckily has advantages that would otherwise have been impossible. But, more than the exposure and care, she is with a parent who takes his fatherhood more seriously than Mr. Brent’s Daughter 24 | GUILFORDWOMAN.COM

Happy Father’s Day Mr. Brent

Margie Crabtree

This month Guilford Woman Magazine is breaking rules and allowing the photograph of a man on our cover. We found this story about Mr. Brent so inspiring and wanted to share it with you about a father’s love; and to what lengths a father will go to prove his love. This is a true story about Brent Ruffin-affectionately known as Mr. Brent, a local businessman who fathered a daughter out of wedlock, with a woman who wanted to destroy him for not creating a relationship with her. Very soon after the child’s birth, Brent began seeing signs that concerned him about the type of care the baby was receiving, he questioned how much time was being spent with his child, and the activities of the mother. During the next five years Mr. Brent’s life was dedicated to fighting both the courts and the social service system, for full or partial custody of his daughter, Aniya. His lawyer was so appalled at the actions of the mother, and the dangerous environment in which the child was living, that she accepted his case with a vengeance, even against the odds. The odds show frightening statistics against the father in nearly every custody case presented. The truth is, the system is almost always for the mother in these cases; naturally assuming it is the mother who has the maternal instincts, has carried the baby for nine months, formed an incomparable bond and would generally be the most qualified choice to raise the child full time. Why, even the title: mother, suggests caregiving and nurturing. Then, there’s stereotyping of a black father who wants to obtain full or joint custody of his child. According to Brent’s figures, only a staggering 33% of black fathers ask for any type of legal custody in court. Only 23% of those seek full custody and only 4% are awarded custody….4%! Mr. Brent eventually beat the odds in his case and is happily enjoying a spot in the 4% to whom full custody has been awarded, but not without years of proving himself, continually worrying about his child’s welfare, and many long and sleepless nights. Today, Aniya is seven years old and with her father, where he admittedly spoils and pampers her in a loving and close relationship, where the child is safe and flourishing. Aniya now sees her mother every- other weekend and for two weeks during the summer. The relationship is currently harmonious between the parents. Recently, the mother had another child and admits that the decision of the court was in the best interest of the child. Aniya is now exposed to travel, dance and a bevy of other exciting endeavors, and luckily has advantages that would otherwise have been impossible. But, more than the exposure and care, she is with a parent who takes his fatherhood more seriously than any other part of his life and enjoys every minute of it. Aniya is a lucky little girl to be so loved and to have a father who is strong enough to fight for her. And so, Mr. Brent, we at Guilford Woman salute you for fighting the good fight and standing for what you believe in. Your efforts do not go unnoticed on this day when all fathers are honored, you especially. Watch this summer for Mr. Brent’s new book release, For the Love of the Child, available at Amazon or a book store near you. This is an in- depth read about his struggles and his courageous battle to save his daughter. It’s a fascinating read - one you’ll be unable to put down. I read the book in its entirety in just a couple of days – and you will too - it’s that good. In addition to being a father, and author, Brent is also the owner of Mr. Brent’s 24 Hour Cleaning Service. You may have seen him and his employees around town in their yellow, and black chromed up trucks, doing contract work for many businesses in the area: Village Tavern, Golden Coral, and Fresh Market, to name just a few. Brent is as meticulous about his work as he is everything else in his life. His employees are dressed wearing logos and colors chosen to represent the company. His trucks are immaculate and eye-catching. But, the best part of doing business with Mr. Brent, will be Mr. Brent. He is a fair and honest man who does what he says he will do and he does it so well. Mr. Brent’s 24 Hour Cleaning Service focuses on three areas of cleaning only – and they like it this way, doing an excellent job at what they do best: CARPET CLEANING: A truck mounted unit, high-vacuum carpet cleaner, for deep cleaning and deodorizing. (This is usually done evenings or nights). HOT WATER POWER WASHING: 250 degree heated unit that removes gum, spots, and works well in high traffic areas, like a restaurant drive-thru or entry door areas. This process also works great on cleaning dumpster pads. (This work is usually done late nights or early mornings) WINDOW CLEANING: All windows are cleaned to a sparkling finish using Brent’s own MR. BRENT’S Window Cleaner. (This is done during day time hours)

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